last updated:
21.08.08 | 19:43 gmt
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Sheffield Slaughter 2004
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I wish I could say that my
Sheffield Slaughter weekend started with a relaxed car journey on the Saturday morning, the kind of journey that isn't too long but allows enough time to listen to your favourite album and relax... you know the sort. I wish I could say that but I can't, for my weekend started on the Friday afternoon. "Down the pub for a few?" I hear you cry, well no, not quite. In my eagerness to help out I decided I'd volunteer both mine and
Andrew Chesney's help in sorting out the gaming tables...
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Sheffield
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United Kingdom
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event rules:
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Warhammer 6th
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Quiet Night In
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That Mr
Andrew Chesney was less than enthused with my volunteering him to pick up the boards but hey ho, what are friends for? It wouldn't have been so bad if the heavens hadn't decided to open just as we started to move thirty-five of the heaviest gaming tables known to man from the Gas Club in Mansfield to the Davy Sports Club in Sheffield. To compound matters three women in their silly girly ways had decided it would be really clever to park across the side access of the Gas Club. Thus followed Andy,
Rob Lane and myself getting well and truly soaked and a bit miffed!
Halfway through the women decided that they'd become bored doing whatever it was they were doing and very kindly buggered off. Hurray! With access cleared all Rob had to do was reverse a van down an alleyway... oo-er. Rob decided to ignore my directions and managed to get the van down the alleyway with no problems; the final few boards and scenery were loaded on to the van with ease and as the doors closed it stopped raining. Typical, but I made up for it by launching myself Dukes of Hazzard-style into the van through the window when
Rob Lane kindly decided to drive off without me...
We made the short trip back to Nottingham and left the van with the lovely
Greg Chambers to look after. Feeling somewhat tired and particularly wet I thought a quiet evening in watching the telly was in order, but alas no. I remembered I had organised a game for that evening against Dragon Slayer wannabe,
Adam Hall. Bugger... how do I get out of this one? As I was contemplating this conundrum our good friend
Wayne Kemp arrived. Wayne was eager to play a practice game and Adam fancied taking on some rats so that was my quiet night sorted. The gaming table was set up in the front room and Wayne used his cunning tactic of spending four hours setting his army up to throw Mr Hall off. I went to bed at midnight and Wayne had just finished setting up his characters. The "game" had started at 7:00pm...
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The Dragon Slayer boys have a conflab...
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Sedge and Leggy have a wave!
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Adam is a bit worried...
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Saturday Morning
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The first game was due to start at 9:30ish, and in my naivety I thought we could leave my house about eight and still be there in plenty of time. Apparently not. Dragging myself out of bed at 6:30am I made my way downstairs to be greeted by four equally tired and dishevelled men. Not much was grunted between us as we made our way to the car. Me being the smallest I was ordered to sit between
Adam Hall and our Dragon Slayer compatriot
Michael Biggs. Whilst Chesney, Biggs and Kemp all seemed rather excited at the prospect of playing games all weekend myself and Adam decided to discuss the finer points of women's underwear. This, of course, ended with a rather bizarre crossover of conversations about blue thongs and rat swarms.
The first destination for us at that God-forsaken time was
Greg Chambers' humble abode. Greg had kindly offered to drive the van to Sheffield as that sneaky bugger
Rob Lane had travelled up there the night before. I suddenly felt this was a cunning ploy to get out of doing any real work. As Greg isn't the most directionally gifted person in the world we let Chesney ride shotgun in the van. This had many benefits. First off we would be relieved of his unbearable enthusiasm and secondly it meant myself and Mr Hall could continue our conversation without being quite so close to each other. Bonus all round I think! The only downside was that none of us in the car had a clue where we were going. "Never fear," piped up Biggs, "I've got a map and everything!" With that we decided it'd be best just to follow the van.
Now at seven o'clock on a Sunday morning with the roads empty, you'd think it'd be impossible to lose a big white van that you're following at 50 mph down a motorway. Somehow we managed it though. Rather surprisingly Biggs came through for us and guided us to our destination with just the odd wrong turn...
It was now eight o'clock and breakfast was calling. Then again, so were the gaming tables - they had to be carried up a charming set of concrete stairs into the hall. And yes it was raining, again. Ah well, it's character building!
Rob Lane obviously has enough character as he was far too busy trying to look important on the stage.
It was a bit of a tight squeeze this year with thirty-five tables, but with a bit of jiggery pokery we managed to get all the boards in, albeit very snugly. More and more gamers were arriving now and the atmosphere was really starting to build. It was great to see guys from other clubs supporting our event and there were one or two complete newbies (me included). Rob called for everyone to be registered and hand in their army lists, and we were off...
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The Slaughter's off and running!
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Adam gets to play Wayne!
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Martin has to play Darren!
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Rich has to play Matt... again!
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Andy's a bugger on the battlefield
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Chris gets a leg up onto the top table
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Slaughtering
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Now I must digress here for just one moment. I haven't played Warhammer for about three years. I'm slowly but surely starting work on my Wood Elf army but whilst this is being bought, stuck together and painted,
Rob Lane has very kindly lent me his High Elves. No problems there. Rob has also very kindly let me use his "Army Builder thingy" (that's the technical term) to write up one or two army lists for the aforementioned elves. Rob, also very kindly, printed out my army roster and gave it to me on the Saturday morning. Rob even more kindly printed off the wrong one. Bugger. I was going to have to use a rather sad, magic heavy list that I'd only used once before, and been mullered with I should add. It would be a learning curve, hopefully in the right direction!
With registration over it was time for the first round. This would be a chance for any grudges to be settled as players could challenge each other at this point.
Wayne Kemp had thrown down the gauntlet with his fluffy, but still deadly, ratskin horde. I eagerly accepted and we were placed on table seven. I should note that this was the highest I got all weekend... the game was to be a pitched battle but before any of that happened we had to do the Big Guy Bash. Three hundred points a side of monsters in ten minutes of carnage - I took Dogs of War Ogres against Kempy's Rat Ogres and I scored a solid victory in this fun, preliminary game and hoped that my fortune would continue. We set up sides and once again Wayne employed his four-hour deployment tactic... when we eventually got going I managed to get the first turn and decided to rumble my forces forward just enough to remain out of range of those deadly ratling guns. For the first three turns my magic and missile fire devastated Wayne's army and it looked like victory was in my grasp. Then it all went wrong. I foolishly placed a unit of Reavers where they could be charged and their escape route was right through my battle line. Panic ensued across the entire army, my Archmage was charged and killed and at one point the entire army was running. Add to that my ability to roll only ones and twos in combat and the game was lost. By turn five time was up and I was glad. I managed to scrape a few points and Wayne deservedly took a massacre. After such an intense game my little belly was rumbling so I was more than pleased to hear the charming barmaid squawk that lunch had been served. Chicken burger and chips with lashings of sauce! Yum!
The second game saw me descend from the heady heights of table seven down to table thirty-two. I had been drawn against Alexander Storch, a lovely chap who hails from Wales. We played the Big Guy Bash to start off with, a close-run thing that I just managed to edge. The scenario to be played this time was Disorganised Advance. Fortunately for me, my army deployed in the two corners of the board and this suited me fine as I had a lot of cavalry and the extra range of my bows. Alex wasn't so lucky and was forced to deploy his entire army in a single 12" by 12" square. His huge Empire army was completely bogged down with slow moving infantry at the front and heavy cavalry in the rear. My Dragon Slayer magic item this game was Greg's Glasses that provided invaluable help in casting spells which would have otherwise been out of range. With Alex's unfortunate deployment and the speed of my cavalry units there should have been only one outcome. Alex was determined to go down fighting and used his Swordsmen with Griffon Banner to immense effect. It was touch and go until turn five when my Silver Helms and Chariots finally broke through his lines. That and all his artillery misfiring... I was pleased with the result but felt the scenario and Alex's misfortune had helped me to victory, but then again that's what Warhammer is all about at times. I finished well within the allotted time so went and grabbed a quick pint with a few of the other Dragon Slayer boys.
There was to be little respite in the action though, for no sooner had I downed my pint were the placings for the next game read out. I was to be fighting a Cult of Ulric army owned by Graham Wigg. It was certainly a fearsome looking force. I was battered like a fish in the Big Guy Bash and the game was pretty much the same. Silly deployment and rubbish dice meant a major victory was awarded to Graham!
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Snoredom
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It was the end of a long day of gaming and I was shattered. We had a few more pints before we were told that dinner was ready, and how very lovely it was too. A stupendous buffet had been laid on ranging from curry to lasagne to salad, with the obligatory sausage rolls to boot. A few of us were staying in the nearby Travelodge so we left about seven o'clock to grab a quick shower and change of clothes. Of course, on the walk back God realised that none of us had been soaked through for several hours and so decided it was about time it rained again. Suffice to say we all looked like drowned rats by the time we got back to the sports centre.
When we got to the bar it was a hive of activity. Several groups were chatting about all sorts and there was even a game of Warmaster going on. Just goes to prove that some people can't get enough! By eleven o'clock we were all rather merry... in fact
Michael Biggs was so merry he stashed six bottles of WKD Blue into his coat pockets for "later". We were going to go in to town but decided to head back to the hotel for an early night... which turned out to be about 2:30 in the morning. As a word of warning, never share a room with Biggs when he's been drinking. The man snores so loudly the hotel now has damage to it's foundations...
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Paul's enjoying it!
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John Dale pops in for a look!
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Greg stares 'em out
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Toothache
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We were all up and about by 8:30 the next (same?) morning.
Adam Hall looked a bit worse for wear,
Michael Biggs was still drunk and I had a tooth ache. Burger King breakfast was clearly in order. Unfortunately BK doesn't open till ten so it was a warmed up Ginsters Pasty from Texaco. Mmmmmmm.
My first game was against current Warhammer Grand Champion
Nathan Hoole. He beat the living daylights out of me and I could only roll eleven and twelve for any fear, break, panic or rally tests. The game was over by turn four. It was the first time I'd played Vampire Counts and to lose to such a fine player didn't really bother me. Besides, I was still suffering from my sore tooth. Next time I play Nathan he won't get off that easily...
Lunch followed game four and once again we were all very happy with our fill. Doing a rules quiz when I'm tired, have a sore tooth and have just eaten isn't generally on my list of things to do but I was going to have to bite the bullet and do it.
John Dale (who hadn't attended) had made up some obscure and bizarre questions and I tried my best but ended up guessing a fair few. In the end I seemed to do all right. The quiz preceded the last game and I had been drawn against a large Dogs of War army belonging to Dave Marriot. After playing the longest Big Guy Bash in the history of the world, ever, we finally got down to playing. The game was quite tense and after an hour and twenty minutes and only two turns a side I conceded on Dave's third turn. I had deployed badly, was having no luck and I wasn't enjoying the game. It seemed only fair to hand Dave the victory. He had, after all, beaten me fair and square.
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Not bad at all!
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Thus ended the games for the weekend. I enjoyed the gaming from start to finish (well, most of it) and the scenarios had provided an interesting change from just pitched battles. Everyone I spoke to had a great time. It was a chance to meet new people, catch up with friends and play five good games of Warhammer. As for me, well I finished 57th. Not great but at least I wasn't the lowest placed Dragon Slayer... not a bad achievement for my first tournament!
Needless to say, it rained again when we were unloading the boards back at Mansfield...
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Wayne won the quiz... and the best big guys!
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John Snape the Ogre!
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Paul Groves, best sportsman!
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Rob Downey's Nurgle Chaos!
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The Nurgle General!
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Some Nurgle Dragon Ogres!
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Dragon Slayer Dearth
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Whilst the results were being collected I'm happy to say everyone chipped in with getting the boards away and making the hall shiny and wargames free again.
Rob Lane and Tracey did a sterling job at sorting out the results so quickly and the winners were invited on to the stage by
Andrew Chesney to accept their trophies.
Thanks to the organisers themselves, a few drop-outs and the
GW UKGT Finals the weekend after, the
Sheffield Slaughter this year was rather underpopulated by Dragon Slayers, which meant that other clubs forced themselves onto the winning rostrums. John Snape of Tanelorn won the Big Guy Bash (rather amusingly misnamed Best Guy Basher on the trophy) - which is quite fitting because he does look like an Ogre after all... Wayne Kemp managed to win the Rules Quiz somehow, with most people getting around two or three questions right he answered ten correctly, a sterling effort.
The Best Painted Army went to Rob Downey's superb Nurgle Chaos, with Wayne Kemp's Skaven and Guy Palmer's Masai Orcs & Goblins honourable mentions. Wayne's Rat Ogres were the Best Big Guys though. The Best Sportsman trophy was awarded to Paul Groves of the Troll Slayers and then we all awaited the placings with baited breath...
...but sadly, no Dragon Slayers were placed. I'd like to think this is probably because we were destined for rather a lot of glory the weekend after at the
GW UKGT Finals, but that's a bit too karmic for me. This meant the Northern Warlords' stalwart Vampire Counts player Keith Wilkinson, the Viet Taff's Guy Palmer and the Terra Nova Gryphon Marcus Pitt grabbed the headlines and the glory by coming first, second and third respectively, with Keith finishing off a fantastic all-round performance by grabbing Best General too. Well done to them and commiserations to Mark Hamilton, who was on the top table overnight and then lost two games on Sunday. Next time!
There's one crumb of comfort for us Dragon Slayers though, for it seems the Old Man of Killamarsh is back! Yes,
Adrian McWalter was on the top table in the last game with his Bretonnians... let's hope he can have a cracking 2004!
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download:
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images:
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Marcus Pitt's High Elves!
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Guy Palmer's Orcs & Goblins!
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Keith Wilkinson's Vampires!
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Sheffield Slaughter 2004 Results
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Warhammer Fantasy Event Awards
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first place:
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Keith Wilkinson
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second place:
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third place:
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Guy Palmer
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Marcus Pitt
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last place:
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Graham Wigg
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best general:
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Keith Wilkinson
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big guy bash winner:
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John Snape
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best sportsman:
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Paul Groves
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best painted army:
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Rob Downey
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best big guys:
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Wayne Kemp
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Previous Dragon Slayer Tournament
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